Gift Ideas for Single Moms

I composed this list after thinking about what I would like and polling my friends. We all agree that if we see one more bath salt, we're disowning you.

1: Flowers. This is simple, easy, kind like an Xmas gift card. But some people have allergies, would rather have something that lasts more than 3 days, and we all know how little thought they require.

2: Chocolates. These can be a great choice, if done well. First find out what kind of chocolates the mom in question likes. Moms would rather suggest something they would enjoy rather than be "surprised" by those nasty milk chocolate peanut butter bears.

3: Offers to Babysit: Who doesn't love a free night out? It can be hard for a single mom to get a girls night out. Dropping $40 on a babysitter isn't very much fun. You just need to FOLLOW THROUGH. Don't promise what you have no intention of delivering.

4: Electronics: If you have the cash to spend, an e-reader, tablet, ipod, etc all make wonderful Mother's Day presents. Just be mindful that some people my not be able to afford the monthly plans that come with some devices.

5: Gift Cards: Many women love shopping. The economic stress of being the sole family supporter can make fun trips to the mall (or Target!) a rare occurrence. Find out where they like to shop and pick them up a card! Extra points if they like Starbucks and you get them a GC for there.

6: Trip Packages: This goes with the electronics; something to give if you can afford to. Who wouldn't like a little get a way to a local destination. A night's stay at a beach hotel, trip to a spa, etc. Doesn't have to be just for mom. A trip to take with the kids is just as enjoyable for many moms!

7: Bath Stuff: This is with extreme caution. No one likes those bath packages you get at CVS. Seriously. We just throw it in a closet to give to people we don't like so much at Christmas time. Same goes for candles. Unless you know what brand & scent your mom likes, and if they even want bath stuff at all, go for the flowers.

8: Books, Movies, CDs: Always renting the same DVDs? Borrowing the same genre of books? Pick them up something they'll enjoy for the bestsellers list. Along with some popcorn or a nifty bookmark, you'll be in business.

9: Magazine Subscription: A whole year's worth of a magazine they love will be a great gift. Whether it's Real Simple, Marie Claire, etc. I'd stay away from Shape (what are you trying to say?) and Cosmo (that's just awkward!) This might not always work, since subscriptions can take up to 8 weeks to arrive.

10: Mimosas or Wine. Mommy juice at it's best. Of course, make sure you favorite mother drinks. A good middle of the road Chardonnay never made anyone angry. Or, try a Realising or Pinot Noir for something more trendy and bold. If you can, manage to snag one of those Mommy's Time Out or Mommy Juice wines. More bonus points for those wine juice boxes from Target. Best. Mommy. Picnic. Idea. Ever.

Things NOT to get a single mother for Mother's Day
1: Speed dating pass
2: Cosmetic anything (makeup, botox, surgery)
3: Cheap gifts from the drug store
4: Those silly little "coupons" for a back-rub, taking out the trash. It will just remind us how much you DON'T do any of those things.
5: Dinner at some over crowded, crappy, chain restaurant
6: Informational pamphlets.
7: Appliances & Tools
8: Anything else chore related
9: Little bears hugging tiny balloons; or any other stuffed animal/balloon combo
10: Books on how to get, keep, please a man. Dude, really? Who DOES that?!

Staying Focused.

There are many times during my day when I have difficulty staying focused. Nothing so bad that I would consider is ADD (note my explicit lack of a medical license.) Perhaps I just have ADOLAB; short for Attention Deficit Oh Look A Bunny!

Ahem, anyway, I have to consciously think about staying on track just so I have a hope to stay focused. Here are a couple coping mechanisms I've developed:

1. Cell phone timer. It would look a little more than odd to have an egg timer sitting on my desk; and quite unsettling for others should it go off. So I set the timer app on my phone for 10-20 minute chunks if I'm having trouble with a task. 5 is too short, 30 too long. A quick little "beep" lets me know when I can take a quick mental break.

2. Coffee. This is kinda a no brainer. I do love a good cup o' joe. But Just like pizza and um, anyway, just like pizza, bad coffee is still mostly good coffee. And the institutional brand coffee our office supplies is good enough for me. I sometimes wonder how it would affect productivity if the company were to invest in some Starbucks just for Monday. I think the return on investment would be worth it!

3. Controlled distractions. This one can sometimes be a minefield. When i start to feel my brain slip beyond my control, I make a deal with myself. "Ok, you can read ONE, maybe two, articles on Jezebel or Apartment Therapy, then you're getting back to work!" This usually works, as long as I make sure not to do it more than once per hour. Gawker's impressively crappy & alienating redesign helps make sure I don't spend too much time on their sites anymore.

4. Lunch. It breaks up the day, gives me something to look forward to, and a benchmark by which I can measure my success. "I'll get this done by lunch!" actually helps.

5. Facebook. Who the hell am I kidding! If I get on facebook, I might not get back to work! Thank heavens I don't play Farmville!

6. Small projects. Hey, if I'm going to get off track with a larger project, might as well use that time to work on a couple smaller, easier projects. Sometimes it's a paper for school, a grocery list, organizing my desk, cleaning out a drawer.

7. Ooooo.....something shiny.....

8. Music. Turning on the radio, hooking up the ipod, logging onto Pandora. Music is great at providing just the right level of background distraction. It also serves as a time measure. I figure the average song is 4 minutes (I really have no idea is that's right) so I can say "I'll work on X for 2 songs" Or "I'll allow myself to be distracted just for this song"

How do you guys stay focused?

So...Yeah...Stuff

It's been CRAZY! In addition to kid, there's work, then school, and now, a national competition! This first two weeks it was tough to adjust to the new schedule, but everything's in place now.
Hour long meal preparations have been replaced by chicken & fish and prewashed baby spinach. I know by heart the location of kid friendly restaurants with free wifi. Spring gardening has been replaced with a CSA. Saturday adventures are now punctuated by Saturday class + impromptu play dates w/ other student's kids. After the first time I brought The Girl to class, all the other children seemed to come out of the wood work. Give them a mat and a ton of legos and they're good :-)
Work has been more stressful, however. The pressure's really on and I have more responsibilities. Too bad it didn't come with a raise!
However April turns out, I will be relieved it's over. I'm sure my blood type is french roast at this point; and I, for one, am certainly looking forward to some down time.

BTW, revlotuions are happening in Africa & the Middle East, Japan suffered the worst natural disaster in my lifetime, we're appearently bombing Libya, the Senate & the House have lost their darn minds, and Big Love left way too many loose ends.

How to quit shopping at Target

After doing my pre-holiday/bday season budget, I realized I spend too much of my money at Target. Nothing crazy and NOTHING like that woman on Hoarders (Dear God, that show is scary!) But with a college student's budget and a kid to support, $25-30 a month at Target is more than I want to spend on life's extras.

Sooo...

Step 1. No more Starbucks at Target. That's half the battle right there. It's so nice to head to Target w/ The Girl and grab an apple juice & a latte. We walk around the store, enjoying our drinks and each other's company. My solution? Pack a sippy cup of juice and a thermos of a fake, office kitchen made, latte when going. I'll save about $10 a month!

Step 2. Make a list, and actually stick to it this time! I'm always making lists (Shopping lists, To-Do lists, Weekly Menus.) Sometimes items on my shopping lists can be found at Target! We get there and I pick up the items on my list: new pink Sharpie, extra socks, and new lip gloss. Then I decide I need mittens, Autumnal tights, an aqua Sharpie (for contrast, duh), etc. Next thing I know, my $9 list turns into a $22 purchase! Now I'm going to make a list; and ONLY buy the things on the list. If I see something else I want, I'll write it down. If I still want/need that item in a week or two, I'll put it on my official Target list. This sounds more complicated than it actually is....I promise.

OMG. I could have pink sunglesses, RIGHT NOW.
But seriously, we were just trying stuff on for laughs.

Step 3. Just stay the hell outta Target! I'm not saying go to WalMart instead (Seriously, this is a Bad Idea .) Instead, I'm suggesting I think really hard to see if I actually need whatever I wanted to buy. If it can at all wait, I'll put it on the list & wait until I actually need it. No more "recreational" Target shopping for me!

I don't think I'm at the point where I need 12 steps to quit Target; three will do. So, anyone else been caught is Target's sneaky tentacles of shopping joy?

Look at the puppy! Doesn't he make you want to buy crap from Target?

Although I must note I'm still a little pissed at Target for giving money to a very anti-gay rights candidate. But that's another story....

Rally to Restore Fear and/or Sanity. A Recap.

This Saturday, I embarked on a journey. A journey that would take me to the heart of DC and Young America's political climate. Interestingly enough, the Rally to Restore Sanity was pretty effin' INSANE. It was by far the craziest I have ever seen Metro or the Mall. People (of mostly healthy BMI) were crammed into every nook & cranny of the area, and then crammed some more. Here's where a little planning & knowledge come in handy.

There's probably 10 million to a billion people there...

1. I left early. Those leaving at 10 in hopes of making in the the Mall by 12? pfffft.

2. Loaded my Smart Trip card a day early. The line for the farecard machines was longer than the line for the actual metro. Also, paper farecards are a pain in the ass. And people were breaking out calculators, trying to figure out the exact change to get to DC. Damn, just put $10 on the thing and get the hell outta the way! I really felt for anyone without a SmartTrip card that day.

3. Went to a less popular metro station. Shady Grove? I can only imaging the pandemonium at this end of the line stop. It was White Flint all the way for me. Parking? $5 to the guy at a shopping center across the street kept my car safe from towing all day.

4. Had brunch in DC before the rally. Why rally on an empty stomach when you can fill up on bacon wrapped sausages with friends? Mimosas to Restore Sanity were served in convenient go sippy cups. This leads me into....

5. Bought sign making materials in advance. In the days leading up to the rally, the stores were running out of poster board, paint, markers, etc. Luckily, we had already purchased ours. Wonderful signs such as: I Am Not A Witch. Your Moment Of Zen, I'd Rather Be Masturbating (actually the most popular sign....,) Mothers Instilling Lifelong Fear and/or Sanity (what's the acronym for that...see? funny.)

 

   The signs really were the best part of the rally. I was blown away by the creativity of the crowd.

6. Cut through the Art Gallery. I know, maybe not to coolest thing to do, but we donated money to offset our use of the building as a conduit to the rally.

7. Had a Backup Plan. The Girl was getting a little tired of the crowd; and my neck was getting sore from keeping her on my shoulders for so long. Luckily, we positioned ourselves close to the IM Pei's East Wing of the National Gallery of Art. We had a yummy lunch next to the waterfall & enjoyed a relaxing walk through.

8. We also had a If We Get Separated, We'll Meet Here plan. In our case it was Oyamel. Eat here. Seriously. Our plan worked out especially well since cell coverage was DEAD. I couldn't even text.

9. We didn't leave immediately following the end of the Rally. Having dinner, then coffee, was a wonderful idea. By the time we made it to Gallery Place metro, it was far less crowded than before.

10. Because a top 10 list is better than a top 9.

The Girl was wonderful the whole time. She was our ticket onto packed metro cars & buses; being the only one who could see the screen, she told us when it said "Cheer!"; and she LOVED the Burning Man Dragon Boat/Bus.

It was the best damn weekend. Ever. But seriously, Starbucks, WTF is up with you denying people Gingerbread Lattes until tomorrow?! SOME PEOPLE had pinned their entire hopes for the day of that latte.

Of well, can't win 'em all!

5 going on 25

Yep, it's good oll holiday cup again



"Mommy, look! There's a Starbucks (she know both how to spell it and it's symbol. le sigh) Maybe we can stop and I can get an apple juice and you can get a latte! Skim, no whip!"

"Mommy, Can I have OxyClean for my birthday? It's tough on stains and brightens whites."

Kissing the Girl goodnight:
"Mommy, are you going to bed now too?"
"No, Honey, I'm going to do my homework now"
"Are you going to watch Dr House while you do your homework?"
"Maybe......"
"And is the person going to be really sick, but they don't know what's wrong, and then they have surgery, and then they get better, and Dr House walks around with his cane?"



The sign proves it. Target sells babies

Another girl at a play date:
"Do you know where babies come from? My mom has a baby in her tummy"
"My mommy says babies come from the girly part of the body, which is near the tummy. But I think babies come from Target"

Car makes a funny sound: "Mom, what was that? "The car made a sound, honey" "Did you check the battery? Or the rotors? Could it be the timing belt? Or the engine? Why don't you just take it to Grandaddy so he can take a look?"

Girl points at almost any furnishing: "We got that from Ikea!"


"I want you to read me more than four stories tonight! How about 8?"
"Four is quite enough for tonight, dear"
"But Olivia's mom read her 8 stories because she did well in art class!"
"Olivia is on TV, not in real life"
"And?......"

"My mommy made chicken soup last night! A fox got into the chicken house at the farm and ate some chickens and their friends we so sad that they died and we had to cook the sad dead chickens or they would go bad"

"Mommy, I don't want you to make sushi tonight. Can't we just give the fish a break?"

"My mommy drinks coffee so she doesn't turn into a dinosaur"

"you know, mom, since we're at the library, it's really close to Starbucks, and Five Guys with the french fries, and the sandwich restaurant (Panera), and the art place (there's a little art gallery close), and Chick-Fil-A, and they're building a Chipotle soon! And they let you bring books into ALL those places! It's perfect, let's go!"

At one of the constant requests to go to a restaurant:
"No, we have food at home; we're not going to a restaurant"
"But moooooom, I want Chick-Fil-Aaaaaaaaaaaa"
"No, we're not spending money at a restaurant when we have yummy food at home."
"But mooooom, if you just go to the bank, they'll give you money for free"

Adventures buying clothes off Craigslist. "Mommy, I really like my new sweater. Is this the one you bought from the guy at the parking lot and he had a lot of clothes in the trunk and you picked out the best ones and gave the guy sixteen dollars?"



In awe at the mighty Wegman's



"Mommy, can we go to Wegmans? It's better than Giant and they have a train, and sushi, and a bread guy who tells me about the bread, and they have lots of fruit, and flowers, and the place where we sit and there's lots of windows and we can see outside and all the shoppers at the same time"....this run on sentance continues until she's described, in detail, every department in Wegmans.

"Mommy, are you friends with (Nova mommy) because her kids has the same name as me or because she makes yummy cheese bread?"

All images belong to whom ever owns them.