How to quit shopping at Target

After doing my pre-holiday/bday season budget, I realized I spend too much of my money at Target. Nothing crazy and NOTHING like that woman on Hoarders (Dear God, that show is scary!) But with a college student's budget and a kid to support, $25-30 a month at Target is more than I want to spend on life's extras.

Sooo...

Step 1. No more Starbucks at Target. That's half the battle right there. It's so nice to head to Target w/ The Girl and grab an apple juice & a latte. We walk around the store, enjoying our drinks and each other's company. My solution? Pack a sippy cup of juice and a thermos of a fake, office kitchen made, latte when going. I'll save about $10 a month!

Step 2. Make a list, and actually stick to it this time! I'm always making lists (Shopping lists, To-Do lists, Weekly Menus.) Sometimes items on my shopping lists can be found at Target! We get there and I pick up the items on my list: new pink Sharpie, extra socks, and new lip gloss. Then I decide I need mittens, Autumnal tights, an aqua Sharpie (for contrast, duh), etc. Next thing I know, my $9 list turns into a $22 purchase! Now I'm going to make a list; and ONLY buy the things on the list. If I see something else I want, I'll write it down. If I still want/need that item in a week or two, I'll put it on my official Target list. This sounds more complicated than it actually is....I promise.

OMG. I could have pink sunglesses, RIGHT NOW.
But seriously, we were just trying stuff on for laughs.

Step 3. Just stay the hell outta Target! I'm not saying go to WalMart instead (Seriously, this is a Bad Idea .) Instead, I'm suggesting I think really hard to see if I actually need whatever I wanted to buy. If it can at all wait, I'll put it on the list & wait until I actually need it. No more "recreational" Target shopping for me!

I don't think I'm at the point where I need 12 steps to quit Target; three will do. So, anyone else been caught is Target's sneaky tentacles of shopping joy?

Look at the puppy! Doesn't he make you want to buy crap from Target?

Although I must note I'm still a little pissed at Target for giving money to a very anti-gay rights candidate. But that's another story....

Rally to Restore Fear and/or Sanity. A Recap.

This Saturday, I embarked on a journey. A journey that would take me to the heart of DC and Young America's political climate. Interestingly enough, the Rally to Restore Sanity was pretty effin' INSANE. It was by far the craziest I have ever seen Metro or the Mall. People (of mostly healthy BMI) were crammed into every nook & cranny of the area, and then crammed some more. Here's where a little planning & knowledge come in handy.

There's probably 10 million to a billion people there...

1. I left early. Those leaving at 10 in hopes of making in the the Mall by 12? pfffft.

2. Loaded my Smart Trip card a day early. The line for the farecard machines was longer than the line for the actual metro. Also, paper farecards are a pain in the ass. And people were breaking out calculators, trying to figure out the exact change to get to DC. Damn, just put $10 on the thing and get the hell outta the way! I really felt for anyone without a SmartTrip card that day.

3. Went to a less popular metro station. Shady Grove? I can only imaging the pandemonium at this end of the line stop. It was White Flint all the way for me. Parking? $5 to the guy at a shopping center across the street kept my car safe from towing all day.

4. Had brunch in DC before the rally. Why rally on an empty stomach when you can fill up on bacon wrapped sausages with friends? Mimosas to Restore Sanity were served in convenient go sippy cups. This leads me into....

5. Bought sign making materials in advance. In the days leading up to the rally, the stores were running out of poster board, paint, markers, etc. Luckily, we had already purchased ours. Wonderful signs such as: I Am Not A Witch. Your Moment Of Zen, I'd Rather Be Masturbating (actually the most popular sign....,) Mothers Instilling Lifelong Fear and/or Sanity (what's the acronym for that...see? funny.)

 

   The signs really were the best part of the rally. I was blown away by the creativity of the crowd.

6. Cut through the Art Gallery. I know, maybe not to coolest thing to do, but we donated money to offset our use of the building as a conduit to the rally.

7. Had a Backup Plan. The Girl was getting a little tired of the crowd; and my neck was getting sore from keeping her on my shoulders for so long. Luckily, we positioned ourselves close to the IM Pei's East Wing of the National Gallery of Art. We had a yummy lunch next to the waterfall & enjoyed a relaxing walk through.

8. We also had a If We Get Separated, We'll Meet Here plan. In our case it was Oyamel. Eat here. Seriously. Our plan worked out especially well since cell coverage was DEAD. I couldn't even text.

9. We didn't leave immediately following the end of the Rally. Having dinner, then coffee, was a wonderful idea. By the time we made it to Gallery Place metro, it was far less crowded than before.

10. Because a top 10 list is better than a top 9.

The Girl was wonderful the whole time. She was our ticket onto packed metro cars & buses; being the only one who could see the screen, she told us when it said "Cheer!"; and she LOVED the Burning Man Dragon Boat/Bus.

It was the best damn weekend. Ever. But seriously, Starbucks, WTF is up with you denying people Gingerbread Lattes until tomorrow?! SOME PEOPLE had pinned their entire hopes for the day of that latte.

Of well, can't win 'em all!

A Quick Word on Going Insane

I sometimes have the tendency to over schedule & commit to too many things. I do this because A: They all sounds like great things to do. B: I can be over ambitious. C: My concept of time must be all kinds of messed up.

Take the next 4 days.

Thursday:
   Work. It's schedule day. I output about 2000 pages of drawings and specs.
   Bank. Before 5 or bad things will happen (my bank sucks)
   School. Mid-Term and I have a whopping 10 minutes to restudy before class.
   Everything else. Bedtime routine for The Girl, eat, prep for Friday

Friday:
   Moving. I have to get everything out of my storage unit THIS DAY. This will involves lots of trips w/ my little car, heavy lifting for this tiny gal, and disassembling some desks so they fit in my car. All in 4 hours.
   Work. Tying together loose ends from the week.
   Shopping. My cupboards are getting more bare than I would like. I have plenty of food, but some fresh fruit & veggies would make everyone happier.
   Socializing. Visiting BMF in the next county so our kids can play and we can relax
   Prep. Getting everything ready for the Halloween party I will be attending. Also prepping for the Rally to Restore Sanity. God knows I could use some freakin' sanity!!! Making an overnight bag for The Girl's stay at her bestest Auntie's house.

Saturday:
   Pre-Rally Brunch. "Mimosas to Restore Sanity" For me it will be simply "Coffee to Restore Sanity" and "OJ for the Girl Who Has to Wait More Than 15 Years to Have a Mimosa to Restore Sanity"
   Rally. I'm not exactly sure how this will all pan out. I'll take pics for you all!
   Dinner. Taking The Girl to meet up w/ my sister & her friends to have a wonderful dinner at Oyamel. One of Jose Andres' awesome restaurants in the DC area.
  Halloween Party. I don't get to see too much of my DC friends, so this will be a real treat. No costume ideas. Might just slap on some fairy wings & call it a day.
 
Sunday:
   Breakfast with the girl; something simple. More coffee
   Trick-Or-Treating! The Girl will be a princess, again. I will make sure to inspect her candy and remove any Kit Kat bars I feel are in excess.

When thinking about time lines like these, I begin to worry about how I'm going to pull everything off and who I'm going to likely disappoint. Somewhere along the line, I will run late, forget something, or have to cancel on someone. Crap happens and The Girl always has to come first. I just have to stop, take deep breaths, and remind myself that at one point, I'll get to take a break and it'll all be ok in the end.

On Monday Starbucks will start selling their gingerbread lattes. It couldn't come soon enough!

Trick-Or-Treating Etiquette

There was a very lively debate going on in the office today: Halloween Etiquette. More specifically on the etiquette surrounding Trick-Or-Treating. Porch lights, Pumpkins, What Candy, Non-Candy Items, Egging, Costumes, Times, etc.

Several things struck me as bah-humbug-y.

1: There were several people who would rather give no candy to anyone than to chance giving candy to teenagers (or worse, parents!) Now, come on, really? No one gets candy if some people don't fall under your superfluously strict guidelines? Ouch. Thank heaven's you're not in charge of a charity!

I understand it might ruffle your feathers when some narcissistic teenager in a half-assed costume rings your bell in hopes of a fun sized Snickers; but don't all the cute little firefighters & witches make up for it? Sure they do. Have a heart.

2. People who don't give candy out, but keep their porch light. Those cute, eager little kids walk up to your door and ring your bell in wonderful anticipation only to be awkwardly let down by your laziness & inconsideration. Those poor little cowboys & girls stare doe eyed at your door, wondering how long it will take you to get downstairs and give them candy. A few moments go by; they ring again. No answer. They SEE YOU sitting, eating chips & watching TV, trying to ignore them. The little kids do the Walk of Shame down your steps. Meanie.

 3. People who give out non-candy items. Pencils? A travel sized tube of toothpaste? Mini-Bible/Book of Mormon/Dianetics? Nasty ass pennies wrapped in plastic wrap? Orphaned crayons? Fridge magnet from whatever small business you run out of your kitchen? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!



Then there is etiquette for the Trick-Or-Treaters themselves; and the people who throw it out the window.

We'll give Gavin a break on the costume.
Gwen can come to my door any day!

1. Trick-Or-Treaters not wearing costumes. Yeah, I'll give you candy. But you're only getting one. And I buy Tootsie Rolls just for people like you. Don't be lame, put a little effort into it. Pick up a cheap mask from the dollar store or something.

2. Kids who complain about the candy. Oh poor baby, I gave you a peppermint patty and you had your heart set on a butterfinger? I bet your parents cook an extra meal, just for you. Suck it up. No one's forcing you to enjoy that cool, refreshing pepperminty goodness. Didn't your parents teach you to be grateful. Ok, don't answer that. Tootsie Roll.....

3. Kids who complain about everything else. Don't like my pumpkin carving skills? Porch not festive enough for you? Only two pieces of candy? It took me more than 10 seconds to answer the door? Tough. I need to have enough candy for everyone. You can provide me with super artistic pumpkins next year and volunteer to decorate my porch. Hey, I need a potty break, too. Tootsie Roll....

4. Girls who dress way too sexy for their age. Don't get me started; but it's my opinion that you shouldn't really be wearing fishnets and a dress that has the potential to show your Britney bits while while walking up stairs. Especially if you're 8. Just saying.

You know what's wrong with kids these days? Their parents. Many of the traits exhibited by poor form trick-or-treaters are mirrored in the actions of the parents that accompany them. Mothers sniding about how THEY would put up extra spider webs. Dads lamenting about the lack of Baby Ruth bars in your Halloween offerings. Parents actually encouraging their kids to try to grab extra candy, and to shove the smaller, slower children out of the way. Parents littering people's yards with wrappers & cigarette butts. Assholes.

  You don't think the parents know what's going on when they open their fridge and see several dozen eggs? Or rolls upon rolls of toilet paper and no anti-diarrhea medicine? I know some of you think it's totally hilarious to egg someone's house or car because they had the audacity to give you a pencil (pet peeve, but not really an egg worthy offense.) But unless you're also going to volunteer your kid to come wash their house and de-TP their trees; you're just contributing to the amount off asshole kids in the world.

  Now put on a costume, buy some candy, and have some fun!!

Picture Post, Spaghetti Squash & Pleather Pants!

I am by no means a professional photographer; or even an armature one. All pictures are taken with my trusty camera phone. I do wish I could take much better pictures of my food. The pictures never do the meals justice. One day I'll be able to afford a snazzy camera and take a class to learn how to use it!

Trip to the Pumpkin Patch. Heading here every year brings me back to the time when I was pregnant and OBSESSED with eating anything orange or squash related. I plowed through pumpkin after pumpkin. Luckily, I perfected the art of homemade pumpkin pie and all sorts of ways to prepare cold season squashes!

Look at all this plastic pumpkin carving crap!



Mommy & Daughter Pumpkins


I really need to buy stock in Target. I seriously love that store. Our Target is especially nice. Always clean, friendly people work there, and they have a Starbucks. Win. However, lately they've been chronically
under stocked on the things I need, but have all the useless things I don't need. Hmmmm. But they DO have a great sunset!

I had to buy myself a Dora the Explorer toothbrush that day.

Yet, these were a plenty! Because every 4 year old girl needs shiny faux pleather leggings.

I'm a sucker for produce. There are so many wonderful local sources in my area. I live super close to an orchard/farm, close to a huge pick-your-own farm, and within driving distance in VA are the Maple Ave Market & a Wegmans! I've fallen into the habit of buying the veggies without a plan. But I don't mind at all. I get a kick out of looking at my pile o' veg and coming up with a recipe that fits my mood.

Poblanos & cherry tomatoes grown in a coworker's garden. Turned into Chorizo w/ angel hair pasta in a red wine poblano sauce.

All veggies grown w/i 100 miles of my house (except the onion).
NC-17 zuccinni grown at a friend's house.
Turned into moroccan veggie curry.

So tasty; and healthy.

Hmmm, what to do w/ spaghetti squash, tomatoes & peppers?

Spaghetti squash spaghetti!

Two "Clean Out The Pantry" Meals

There are times when I haven't gone to the store, it's getting late, we're hungry, and I don't feel like spending money to order out. These are the days when I'm happy to have a stocked pantry & freezer. Here are two go to recipes, the ingredients for which I almost always have on hand. There might be fancier, far more authentic, versions of these out there; but these get the job done just fine. I'd love to hear how you'd make yours in the comments!

                                             

Singapore Style Noodle Soup

Ingredients

1 square thin rice noodle (They come in convenient 1-2 person blocks at our local intl. market)
Enough water and/or broth to boil the noodles in (Ever boil ramen on the stove? about that much water)
1/2 cup frozen peas
1 Clove garlic, crushed (Or garlic powder. I won't judge)
1 Tbs yellow curry powder
A little extra turmeric, because I like mine extra yellow
Salt to taste
1 Tsp grated or chopped fresh ginger, or powder to taste
Splash hot chili oil, bonus points of chili sesame oil.
1 Tbs fish sauce and/or soy sauce
Frozen Shrimp, if you have them!
1/2 cup frozen spinach, optional
Red chillies or chili flakes, optional
Cooked Tofu, optional

Directions:

Get the water boiling with the spices (except ginger). Add the noodles and cook for 1-2 minutes. Then add the oil & ginger. Cook until the noodles are about 1/2-2/3 as done as you want them,

Add the frozen peas, shrimp & spinach; along with the fish sauce. Cook until everything is hot!
I like to add drops of this sweet chili garlic sauce to the soup as I eat it. I like it spicy!


Black Bean & Corn Salsa with Black Eyed Peas

Ingredients

1 Can Black Beans
1 Can Black Eyed Peas
1 Can Whole Kernel Corn, or Frozen
1 Can diced tomatoes
1 Cup of Salsa
Spices (I use a combo of Satan's Breath Cajun Blend, Cumin, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Cayenne Pepper, & Oregano)

Optional:

Cilantro
Cheese
Lime
Diced Whatevers (Some people like peppers, red onions, spinach, meats, and for God knows why: carrots)

Directions:

Throw everything together. Heat if you want it warm. Serve on tortillas, nachos, toast, a plate, etc.
Sure, it's a little side dishy, but with all the beans, and if you put it on something, it becomes a nutritious meal!

5 going on 25

Yep, it's good oll holiday cup again



"Mommy, look! There's a Starbucks (she know both how to spell it and it's symbol. le sigh) Maybe we can stop and I can get an apple juice and you can get a latte! Skim, no whip!"

"Mommy, Can I have OxyClean for my birthday? It's tough on stains and brightens whites."

Kissing the Girl goodnight:
"Mommy, are you going to bed now too?"
"No, Honey, I'm going to do my homework now"
"Are you going to watch Dr House while you do your homework?"
"Maybe......"
"And is the person going to be really sick, but they don't know what's wrong, and then they have surgery, and then they get better, and Dr House walks around with his cane?"



The sign proves it. Target sells babies

Another girl at a play date:
"Do you know where babies come from? My mom has a baby in her tummy"
"My mommy says babies come from the girly part of the body, which is near the tummy. But I think babies come from Target"

Car makes a funny sound: "Mom, what was that? "The car made a sound, honey" "Did you check the battery? Or the rotors? Could it be the timing belt? Or the engine? Why don't you just take it to Grandaddy so he can take a look?"

Girl points at almost any furnishing: "We got that from Ikea!"


"I want you to read me more than four stories tonight! How about 8?"
"Four is quite enough for tonight, dear"
"But Olivia's mom read her 8 stories because she did well in art class!"
"Olivia is on TV, not in real life"
"And?......"

"My mommy made chicken soup last night! A fox got into the chicken house at the farm and ate some chickens and their friends we so sad that they died and we had to cook the sad dead chickens or they would go bad"

"Mommy, I don't want you to make sushi tonight. Can't we just give the fish a break?"

"My mommy drinks coffee so she doesn't turn into a dinosaur"

"you know, mom, since we're at the library, it's really close to Starbucks, and Five Guys with the french fries, and the sandwich restaurant (Panera), and the art place (there's a little art gallery close), and Chick-Fil-A, and they're building a Chipotle soon! And they let you bring books into ALL those places! It's perfect, let's go!"

At one of the constant requests to go to a restaurant:
"No, we have food at home; we're not going to a restaurant"
"But moooooom, I want Chick-Fil-Aaaaaaaaaaaa"
"No, we're not spending money at a restaurant when we have yummy food at home."
"But mooooom, if you just go to the bank, they'll give you money for free"

Adventures buying clothes off Craigslist. "Mommy, I really like my new sweater. Is this the one you bought from the guy at the parking lot and he had a lot of clothes in the trunk and you picked out the best ones and gave the guy sixteen dollars?"



In awe at the mighty Wegman's



"Mommy, can we go to Wegmans? It's better than Giant and they have a train, and sushi, and a bread guy who tells me about the bread, and they have lots of fruit, and flowers, and the place where we sit and there's lots of windows and we can see outside and all the shoppers at the same time"....this run on sentance continues until she's described, in detail, every department in Wegmans.

"Mommy, are you friends with (Nova mommy) because her kids has the same name as me or because she makes yummy cheese bread?"

All images belong to whom ever owns them.